40yr old virgin © 2012 . All rights reserved.

“Chest Waxing”

Yeah I am aware that I have this fur coat for a reason.  Sometimes when the little furry creature of hair appears coming up from my collar, I say to my self “self….Enough is enough”  I am not sure why I do it.  Its like starting fresh again or something.  I tried “neet” many years ago, that stuff is just plain weird. Its got some kinda crazy chemical that melts the hair off and I remember it stank too. When it grew back it was beyond itchy.  Neet no good, not for me.  I have tried using clippers to keep things in order.  Same problem as with the neet, it was insanely itchy upon regrowth.  The only thing that really seems to work is the waxing.  I have only ever had it done 3 times, last trip home was one of them.  It has been a # of years since the last time. The collar critter had emerged again and I got fed up.

Everyones first question is “WHY?” I answered that best I could already. Everyones second question is “Did it Hurt” yeeeesssssss think about what is going on.  It hurts like crazy.  This most recent time though It seemed to be a little less painful then the previous 2.

I want to tell the story about my first experience.

When I was still bar tending. There was a little salon beside the restaurant and one of the girls from there would come in for soup from time to time.  I inquired to see if they did waxing.  She replied “No, But I know someone who does” next thing I knew I had an appointment and I was off to have it done.  The tiny asian lady ushered me into the room and told me to take off my shirt and lay down on the table face down she would do my back first and that she would be back in a minute.  First of all this gal perfectly fit the stereotype of  a “waxer”  tiny, asian, broken english, always smiling, etc.  All I could think of was the waxing scene from 40yr old virgin.  Now laughing to myself the nice gal returned  “yoo eva ave wax dun befo” I replied “yes once but not by a professional” I believe she only heard “yes”   She started my back which is not very bad anyway, a few here and there.  Yeah it hurts a bit but no big deal at all. Back now done “ok tuorn ova” Her facial expression was priceless. It was like when you take a drink of something that you think is something else. A crazy surprise,lit-up, awkward look “youuuu neva do dis side befo”  I am now raffing out roud a bit, yet still in control.  I cant remember where exactly the first clump was taken from on the front side, but the game has now changed.  Insane pain, each pull you can feel the next before it happens, and for what…..?? Less fur.  I am still chuckling though and thinking of the 40yr old virgin scene. Now out of nowhere as if she is seeing right into my mind, she says to me “You eva see dat movee tirty yr old virgin”  my chuckle is now outburst of laughter. I am losing my shit. She starts going faster. Rip, Rip, Rip, laugh, hot wax, rip, rip, laugh, burn, rip.   By the time I settled down the job was nearly done and I couldn’t wait to get out of there and tell someone what had just happened.  I will never forget this day.  I am sure she thought I was totally nuts but whatever.  I still sometimes wonder if she did that to everyone to get them to shut up and stop whining.

Those strips of fabric with the pulled hair on em’…….shit is real. You cannot imagine that there is so much there.

What does this have to do with fly fishing…….. added 7% to my max distance cast with a weighted crab fly.  Try it out let me know how it goes.

4 Comments

  1. Donnie Brasco

    I guess there are no limits on this fishing blog

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